Companion of the Mrs.
Companion of the Mrs.
What to the American wife in Russia?
We have got used to think stereotypes. If, for example, you leave
In marriage for the foreigner, especially the American, - consider, has extended
Happy ticket. After all as our Russian Cinderellas think,
Clinging overseas grooms: if only there was at the husband money yes has appeared
Possibility to fall down in zabugore, and all the rest nonsense, in what
The family does not have problems... At our heroine all on the contrary. It half
The American, half the Frenchwoman. Was born and to twenty three
Years a vein in New York. Has then arrived to Moscow to study the mysterious
Russian soul. And so has taken a great interest in this business that has found to itself Russian
The husband, daughter Anni has given birth and to leave anywhere Russia is not going to.
Her name is Elena BET the MINER, and it lives more than ten years
Together with us.
We have agreed to meet in the centre of Moscow. On my question, as
I learn it, Elena has burst out laughing and has responded: "On the American I absolutely
It is not similar... "It really looks as absolute ours,
But it was necessary to us to start talking about a life, men and children as became
Clearly, that we look at the world, love and sex in many respects on -
To miscellaneous. How much we differ also what it - to be American
The wife of Russian husband, about it conversation also has gone.
- I the philologist by training, me others always interested
The countries and people. I have met first Russian guy in Nju -
York. I look, there is a cheerful fellow and sells any badges and
Posters Russian. I have approached and I ask: "the Companion! That here
It is represented? ". It so liked this mine"companion", that it here
Has invited me to appointment. So my dizzy has begun
The novel with Andrey.
We with it have travelled all America. I in general at heart very much
The open and fun-loving person, for some reason here, in Russia, it
Many shocks.
Then I have arrived to Andrey to Moscow, but to Russia our relations
Have sharply changed. Carelessness, ease was gone...
At first I have faced household problems. In the first evening
I have decided to prepare liked ours koronnoe a dish - meat balls
With macaroni. Have gone to shop behind products. It costs and with
The parties observes, it was interesting to it, whether I can to make all
Itself. And I stand also anything I can not understand. Any checks it is necessary somewhere
To punch, then somewhere with them to go.
On kitchen too full "pipe". I search for a mixer, a toaster, well though
Something from the house technics. Anything is not present. Once has found something
Similar to the hair dryer only enormous, also allow to them hair to dry.
Andrey has entered and has not died nearly of laughter. It appears, I a vacuum cleaner
Has used. Thought, time at you such deficiency of the household
Devices, also hair dryers - prehistoric.
With a washing machine again oblom. Has decided to wash, and about
Any hoses has forgotten. More shortly, hardly all entrance has not flooded. I sit
To myself, by phone I talk, and water already to ankles gets.
Half of day then water took out, and other half with
Neighbours spoke.
But it were still florets. Berries have gone, when have begun
Psychological, instead of household problems. I at heart the person very much
Independent, I do not like before anybody to report. And mine bojfrend
I considered, that, as well as all its previous girls, should share
With it all plans to discuss, co-ordinate, almost
To ask permissions. I speak to it: "If we live together, not
Should humiliate each other with jealousy and suspicions ". To Andrey
The woman who always was a number was necessary. As a result we
Have left.
There were at me and other novels with Russian men, but all of them
Quickly collapsed, and for very ridiculous reasons. Even
It is strange, that because of such trifles people can quarrel and not
To understand each other. Somehow I with the friend sat at restaurant and,
Naturally, wished to pay for itself under the bill. Why
Should be differently? Certainly, there are invitations on romantic
Supper then an another matter, but for a usual lunch I should pay.
The friend has very much taken offence. Then I was younger and consequently in
Such cases started to push to muzhiks the whole lectures about
Equality of floors. The silly woman, in general, was. Now I not so such.
In the autumn of 93rd year I worked in hotel "Redisson-slavic"
The manager also has met the future husband - Maxim
Stishovym. When I have learnt, that Maxim has lived many years in America,
Me it, naturally, has interested. That to dissemble, it wanted
To talk to related soul. And the truth, it has appeared almost
The American. It the writer and a script writer. Under its scenarios are put
Such films, as "Impostors", "Hermit" and many other things.
At that time I lived in hotel where worked. Therefore, when
Maxim has suggested to move to it, I not for long broke. Mum of mine
The husband lives in the next house, but during that moment they had a conflict, and
Me to it have not presented. But I have met it independently.
Has seen it in the street, has approached and has told: "Hello, me
Call Elena, I live with your son ".
It seemed to me, that I not especially was pleasant to it.
Certainly, and now, after so much years, at us is
Certain problems, but to me they seem natural for
Daughters-in-law - of the American and Russian mother-in-law.
For example, the mother-in-law wants all about us the nobility, to give advice, and
It it is not necessary to me. She takes offence, but I am brought up not how you,
Russian. The American family consists of the husband, the wife and children, about
What parents of the husband-wife there it is not mentioned. When to the person
It is executed eighteen years, it leaves a family. Arrives in
The college or in university also lives independently. Relations at
Adult children and parents absolutely others. It is impossible to tell, that
Parents leave on the second plan, but they in a life of children not
Participate.
My mum has died in 91st year, and the daddy, having learnt, that I marry
For Maxim, was too not in the big delight. It is brought up on
Period representations "cold war", and consequently the defined
Stereotypes are live in him till now.
But he to me then has told: "It is other country. You can not in
All to understand, therefore adapt. At you now the Russian
Family, and problems necessarily will. Learn them to solve. From
Each situation there is an exit. Also remember, there is no such situation, over
To which cannot laugh ". Since then it during our life never
Interfered.
Till birth Anni between me and the husband of special problems was not.
Maxim reckoned with my way of life, excused mine
Mismanagement. But then all has changed. I consider, that the father
The same parent, as well as mother. Therefore it as is obliged to rise
At night to the kid to walk with a carriage, to change pampers. But the husband of it
To understand did not want. As its friends to it it is regular
Sang: "For what then the wife is necessary? Unless it not its duty
- To care of children? ". Their position terribly irritated me. Marriage -
This partnership, the man should feel, that it is necessary in this
Situations. Fortunately, in due course Maxim has changed, now it so
As well as I, feel responsibility for the daughter.
I cannot understand till now, how at you it is accepted to speak it
To the husband: "Go to other room, have a rest. I now will be engaged in the child,
And then you ". It is not pleasant to me, when the man for the woman
Becomes as though the second child. Somehow we have gone with the father-in-law in
The restaurant, and it sits and waits, that to it the wife will reserve. The adult
The man himself cannot choose that is going to is.
Or here still an example. I have tested a shock when has heard from one
Men, that he does not know the size of footwear: "Ask the wife,
She knows! ". Unless it is normal?
My father always itself made of the decision. And it is normal. And at
My Russian friends it not always so. My husband Maxim, to
To regret, too not always makes of the decision independently. To me
It, of course, is not pleasant, but I do the discount that Maxim -
The creative person. I the person more resolute and much in
To family I incur.
The relation to sex at Russian women and Americans too
The various. For example, I can openly tell. And what here to hide?
We live once, will miss - then will not return. But many
Men surprises and such frankness shocks. Some mine
Friends in Russia consider, that for us, Americans, sex is
Sports version, that we insensible, as robots. That
Thus we support the physical form and we get rid from
Spots.
But do not think, that I consider Russian men worse Americans.
On the contrary! At me many Russian girlfriends, and I see, how much yours
The man it is better than ours. Certainly, Russian have one big
Lack - sometimes they "thump" in large quantities, - but
But what at them a wide soul! It is possible to excuse much for it and on
Much to close eyes. Americans are more prudent: "Now you will receive
From me a ringlet and if you will become my wife I will buy to you
brasletik, the turn then will reach the house, the car ". Unless it
Life? Melancholy deadly. Such planned, sample life
Not for me.
Certainly, as well as in any family, we have defined
Problems. For example, I consider, that Maxim could do is more often to me
Any small surprises. Fur coats, cars, no are not necessary to me.
Simply any trifles which help to feel
The woman whom like also which value.
And the husband for certain would like, that I was more hozjajstvenna.
I understand, what is it I elements on a life. But what to do?
I try, in something I study, and something comes.
But there is in our marriage a main thing: Maxim respects my freedom, mine
Interests, my desire to achieve something. And I am mad to it for it
It is grateful. It also is a basis of our Russian-American family,
Which lives in Russia and to leave is not going to anywhere.
Marina Hilkevich.
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//* an information Source: the Moscow member of the Komsomol, 13.08.01
//* Reg. Nom. - 1110800156.32-------------------------------------------
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