Michael ZADORNOV: "On the first striptease I have gone with the officer
Michael ZADORNOV: "On the first striptease I have gone with the officer
KGB ".
Even the first appointment to the Egyptian pyramids has not called at
Me anything, except irritation. Though I prepared for it, as
The Soviet student, first time going abroad, to which
It is necessary to pass before a trip a Communist Party committee, profkom and to pass examinations
On knowledge of the country of purpose most terrible "clod" - the commissions
Veterans.
I remember, when I left for the first time with group of students MAI in
Poland, me asked, what yields of milk of milk gave srednepolskaja
Cow in 1939 on soul srednepolskogo the population. And, that
The most surprising, I on this question, apparently, have responded correctly.
Otherwise first time abroad would not visit and has not seen the first in
The life a striptease. But already then I have understood, how happen in a life
Things are connected absolutely nesvjazuemye, at first sight.
For example, average nadoi milk srednepolskoj
Cows to the Second World War and the first striptease of the period of stagnation.
Certainly, the striptease at that time was risky action.
Even to look at it was considered antisovetchinoj,
Antistate act. All the same 74th year. Not a joke. We
Have been assured, that sex in our country is not present. A sensuality -
The integral attribute of bourgeoisie. The Soviet men, it is universal
Factories "Bolsheviks" dressed in grey suits, could
To get agitated from skirt unexpectedly raised by the employee, when
That, say, lifted hands to brush the hair.
That after returning from Poland to me not "have sewn business" for
Viewing of immoral action, I have invited to go with me
On a striptease in Zakopane the main informer of our group,
The supervisor behind morals, the peace officer and morals,
starleja KGB. Has invited, naturally, not for it, and at own expense.
Preliminary has for this purpose sold dublenku. Then at me was
The best dublenka in my life. Colours of the Baltic beach in the autumn. I
Stood in it on zakopanskom the market and waited for the buyer. I remember,
The gipsy has approached. Dublenka there was so graceful, what even it,
Almost jasnovidjashchaja, has not guessed in me the Soviet citizen.
- The Swede? - The gipsy in English has asked.
I have negatively shaken a head, as the deaf-mute, that not
To give out accent of the Soviet citizen and by that not to make
Anti-Soviet act, having opened all market, that the Soviet
The person can fall before to sell in Poland to the gipsy
dublenku, bought in the closed distributor at Supreme
Council of the USSR.
- The Irish? - The gipsy, definitively having disappointed has asked again
Me in Gipsy jasnovidenii.
I have involuntarily smiled.
- About, Russian! - she has exclaimed, having seen at me a gold tooth.
Then I with pride have realised for the first time, that a gold teeth is
Only at us, the Soviet people. And years through ten, having recollected this
The case, in any interview has told to the journalist, that emigration from
Soviet Union is a leak not minds, and a teeth.
I have correctly enclosed obtained for this dublenku money. In
Impressions and in the future file on me in KGB archive. That is
Practically zaimel the if it is possible so to say, "house"
The informer whom for pair stripteases and, it is terrible to tell, for
Absolutely anti-Soviet drink of that time - Coca-Cola -
Positively nastuchal on me. Also that I am morally steady and in
What communications discrediting Fatherland and actions has not been noticed.
Probably, because remained proof and has not got agitated during time
Striptease as it was afforded by the ungirdled citizens
The is unstable-immoral capitalist countries.
When we with mine kagebeshnikom have returned after a striptease in
Hotel and the door-keeper, smelt the skilled Swiss scent, that at
Us hardly there are more than money, than it is necessary to banal Soviet tourists,
Has asked, whether girls are necessary to us, I am proud have responded:
- No. We the Soviet people!
- What, Soviet do not require girls? - Has grinned
The door-keeper already at that time a polsko-anti-Soviet smile.
- No! - with even bolshej pride I have responded. - Soviet
The person of girls to itself will find.
After such, I would tell, the patriotic statement mine
kagebeshnik I was definitively convinced that the true defender
The native land also that it has now the full right to write on me
The correct file as we with it also have agreed. Here so, thanking
That dublenke which it is a pity to me to this day, me began to let out
Abroad and henceforth, and I continued to study the countries, in which
It was necessary to leave. I have learnt all parties of Hungary, length Berlin
Walls and how much time have kissed Brezhnev with Honekkerom for
Last ten years.
However every cloud has a silver lining. Studying of the country of purpose now
It is hammered in my genetic code, and it will get from me
To successors together with my photos.
Journalists frequently ask to me a question: "And you got
Sometime in so ridiculous histories, that at you did not suffice
Senses of humour to laugh over themselves? "Should confess, with me in
Lives each time happen ridiculous situations, when I too
I become presumptuous, or I demand from world around, or when too much
I am too fascinated someone and I become trustful.
In a word, all ridiculous is born, when something too.
As soon as I, trying to suppress in itself irritation on
Brown movement of tourists, has decided to be engaged socially -
By useful business - to be photographed on the second step of a pyramid
- Also has somehow got on it, the Arab has there and then run up to me and
Has told what to get on a pyramid strictly it is forbidden. He
The security guard also should watch it. It is put here by the state.
I, naturally, have understood it as extortion. Has offered it
Money that it has photographed me itself. However has occurred
The improbable: the Arab has refused money. Even has apologised supposedly not
It is necessary, but once, well, it will photograph me
Free of charge, exclusively out of respect for that I Russian. It
The daddy flied on Russian fighters and has brought down some the Israeli
Aggressors. The only thing, that has got to it in the inheritance from the daddy,
- It is love to Russian. And that I from Russia, he has guessed on
To my shorts Ferre and points Guchchi!
"What noble Arab!" - I sincerely was glad to that
Among Arabs there can be someone, with whom Israelis all the same
Can agree!
On pleasures I in second time have offered it of money, already hardly
It is more, that it has photographed me once again. But it again
Has refused. However, for my intentions to make happy it has like to
To me such respect that has suggested to look nearby the secret
Excavation. There tourists yet do not drive, but for me it will make
Exception. As at me an eye, as well as shorts, the person
Uneasy so, I can estimate on advantage these
Excavation.
From its story I have not understood, about what excavation there is a speech. Whether
Tombs of the wife of any Pharaoh, whether crypt where have been hidden
Remains of its mistress. English words he knew approximately so much
How much I. But for some reason in the majority it there were others
Words.
He has underlined at once, that for survey-maneuver it will be necessary
To pay. But not to it, and local security guards. However, they too
Money do not take, but for the sake of me take, because their daddies too with
Gratitude recollect Russia: they studied at university
Name Patrisa Lumumby. Thus he spoke all time not
"Lumumby", and "Lukumby".
Having given in on flattery, I with pleasure have agreed on survey,
Having thought, that though something I will see without crowd. Exclusive and
Corresponding to my shorts.
- Where we go? - I have asked.
- On the West! - the son of the pilot has responded and has shown a hand exactly-in -
Exactly, as Said in "the White sun of desert".
We have passed on desert on the West only five hundred metres. Excavation
Have appeared unexpectedly, having come up it is literally from under the earth.
Having covered with barkhans, they have published anything themselves did not give out. It
Were similar to the trenches wrinkled in sand. As our entrenchments
The wartime, only hollowed in a stone. Inputs Here and there darkened
In underground catacombs, as if holes of the anacondas conducting to the centre
The earths. In them devilishly it would be desirable to glance.
- Here! The latest achievement in Egypt! - it is proud I has told
The guide, the truth, has not told, in what this achievement consists.
It has failed in an underground course, more correctly, has dived into it so
Dexterously, as though made it every day. I have followed it,
But it is less elegant, having removed points and being afraid for the shorts.
- And how much to pay? - I have asked. - Something of anybody around not
It is visible?
- Will give later. I will pass them. All of them now during a dinner, - it
Has switched on a small lamp, and we have gone lengthways its ray in potustoronnem
The world. Already after two-three questions I have understood, that on history it not
Read even the high school textbook for the sixth class. For example,
Directing a small lamp beam on a corridor wall, on which we
Cautiously moved ahead, spoke with the maximum importance:
- Here it is a wall. Very ancient! And it is a door. Still ancient!
On my question, what century a vault, he has responded, that it
Very ancient, such ancient, that it already also does not remember. But that
To it of more than hundred years, it is exact.
At last it has got me in depth of this mysterious labyrinth,
Which, apparently, have dug specially that
To get thirsting exclusive shows of tourists. We were,
Naturally, in very ancient room. In it smelt as dampness and
History mould. The Earth from above pressed. It was possible only
To be glad for mummies which are not afraid klaustrofobii.
Here wash the guide has told to me, that for such excursion it is necessary
To pay not less than fifty dollars, because this excavation
Fifty security guards guard. All the same where we are, -
The state secret. And the state secret cheaply not
Is on sale. To everyone on dollar. And though they now during a dinner, it it
Will pass necessarily. And to pay it is necessary on this place.
Otherwise, judging by its tone, I risked for ever to remain here and
To turn to a mummy covered with a historical mould.
To me remains nothing how to pay and remember this
Case to tell to its future journalists, when those in
Next time will ask a question: "And somebody laughed at you
Sometime? ".
Yes, laughed! The security guard - the son of the pilot. It till now, probably,
Laughs over me. Anyway, when we left catacombs,
At it ears smiled not only eyes, but also. He has there and then run from
Me back home to give fifty dollars to friends to the childhood. And I
Sadly poshelestel on barkhans back, worrying it is not so much for
Fifty dollars, how much for soiled for ever a dust
Eternity shorts Ferre.
That day I trudged on desert with firm belief, that
Correctly speak - in Egypt, as in Venice, once in a life
To visit it is necessary. But, unlike Venice, in Egypt of an once
To visit there is quite enough.
And nevertheless I do not agree with expression: "If though time has visited
In Venice, it is possible to consider, that the life has taken place ". For completeness
Sensations I still would advise to swim for a while with an aqualung in Red
The sea. Then indeed it is possible to consider a life as action optichennym.
However, for the first time, as well as with pyramids, my acquaintance with
Red sea optichit did not possible. The local instructor in road
Told with ecstasy to me about miracles of Red sea. Because of
Shortages of English words tried to describe gestures, what there
There are miracles: fishes, molluscs. Represented the person corals.
Rastopyrival hands, trying to become similar to seaweed,
Rotated, as a crab, eyes. It has a little brightened up the two-hour
Road in bezressornom, a dusty minibus to that place, where
All it was found. In the end of road we have rested against any pier, where
For diving have brought, in my opinion, all Italian tourists with all
Sinai okrugi. The underwater kingdom teemed with Italians literally,
As an old pond a plankton. It is interesting, that Italians manage
To be noisy even under water. They have scared away all fish. It seemed,
That in it bezrybnom space in masks and lastah they it is simple
Hunt against each other. I floated between their feet in hope
To see though something from this, that, striving the person, promised to me
The guide. But it was similar, that from such bedlam have crept away even
Corals. In a word, as to the underwater world, the strongest
The impression this day at me remains from a mimicry of the instructor,
Which on a return way I represented to me those miracles, which and
Has not seen.
But next day to me has carried. At breakfast at restaurant
Hotels me were learnt by Russian waitress. Tanja from
Dnepropetrovsk. With its first desire was to feed me
Rolls because Arabs, as she said, do not respect the thin. If
You thin - mean, silly, cannot even earn to yourself money
On decent meal. Therefore personally it is compelled to eat every day
Local batch. Though its friend not local, not the Arab. It the Scot,
The instructor of a scuba diving. But as here works much
Years argues already as the present native. To it too like
The girls similar to rolls.
I have told to Tana about the unsuccessful experience of a scuba diving
Between the Italian feet. Tanja without an irony shade has responded, that
Now a season of Italians. For me "a season of Italians" has sounded,
As though Italians are fish who lasts to Red sea on
Spawning. Such Italian putina. "Nevertheless, - she has told,
- There are places where they are not present ". Its friend knows such place and will make
To me all is correct. It the European.
The European has appeared the Mexican, which long time of veins in
Ireland. Probably, therefore Tanja named its Scot. Besides
It was not the instructor, and the fan of a scuba diving. However,
The fan professional. But such full, that was not believed, that
Water will not push out it together with an aqualung, as a pontoon. It
The round face reminded the reddened Mexican pizza with
Tomatoes, but, that was pleasant, all this pontoon has been filled
International sense of humour and Latin American veseluhoj.
- Certainly, he spends the life most part under water, -
Complained of it Tanja. - Practically lives among fishes, therefore and
The cheerful. And would work about mine among people... Moreover in
Dnepropetrovsk...
The Mexican Scot has told, that really knows places,
Where there are no Italians. First of all it is very deep under water. And
As there it is very dangerous, careful instructing at first is necessary on
To safety precautions after which I should hand over offset.
Careful instructing he spent minutes four. Language
Semigestures and the semimain words:
- The first and main: under water of anybody and anything hands not
To touch. Dangerously. As well as at people, than looks more attractively
Any reptile - that it is more poisonous. Once you will stroke - all
Life you will suffer then. The second: we will fall deeply. If
Suddenly under water to you it becomes bad, you will show to me a hand here so. -
It has turned a brush as though twisted in a chandelier electric
Bulb. - I will show you in the answer three signs. The first, - it
Has lifted upwards two fingers, - index and anonymous, dissolved
The letter "V", - this sign will mean a credit card "Visa".
The following sign, - it has lowered downwards three middle fingers, too
Dissolved, but already the letter "M".
- This sign will mean "Master card". - Then it
Has represented, as he eats.
- "Dinner club card", - I have guessed.
- Clever, - has approved sensej. - And it that such? - It
Has placed hands and feet and it became similar to the English which has swum away by fat
The letter "H".
- I do not know.
- It is the main sign - "American Express"! If to you becomes
Badly, I will show you by turns all these signs. You to me on one
From them you will nod, and I will understand, what card you will be
To pay off there, above, if I rescue you. O'kej?
- O'kej, - I have responded.
- Have well done gone!
And we after the most difficult in my life of examination have dived in
Long-awaited bezytaljanskoe silence.
When people look at something very motley, they speak often:
"Well, it is simple all colours of a rainbow". To the underwater world of Red sea
The colour-blind person can use this expression only. A rainbow on
To comparison with it - the miser and the cheapskate. It under physics laws not
Can show a bit of generosity bananovo-kardamonovymi with shades with
Birjuzovo-garnet impregnations and zelenovato-crimson
otlivami colours of a suit of a bat sparkling in the light of spotlights
Kirkorov.
Many fishes have really been decorated, as world stars
Platforms on a scene. But not variety silence gave to them more
Philosophical and clever, than at variety stars, a kind. They not
Were humiliated, did not fawn upon spectators excessive dergotnej and
Shaking. All of them floated very important, slowly, understanding
Own beauty. Fishes and all these sea monsters was around
So many that, appear, it is possible to make a start from them feet.
Speak, salty water especially generously decorates all living creatures in
Her. Really, Baltic sea fresh, and all small fishes in it
- Small and grey.
And here?! The coral bottom alternately with seaweed was similar
From above on the spread fabric for a Japanese celebratory kimono,
From which with pleasure would sew to itself shirts hot
Caucasian the buddy and our immigrants on Brighton. Being expressed
The modern language, the underwater world teemed navorotami. It was
The present underwater show. Mute, but surprisingly impressing.
<$>
//* an information Source: the Moscow member of the Komsomol, 5.05.02
//* Reg. Nom. - 1120500010.35-------------------------------------------
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